How to Limit Screen Time For Kids

Screen time includes everything, using mobile phone, playing video games, watching TV, or squandering time on laptop. Excess screen time is such a big problem today. Children’s screen time is very high these days, ranging from 4 hours to even 10 hours a day. Yes. It can become that bad. So how to limit screen time for kids?

What’s So Bad with Excessive Screen Time?

Parents complain that their children are completely lost. They don’t study, they don’t eat, they don’t interact with family members. Their only friends they have are online.

They don’t go out to play, just lying in the bed all day, lost in their virtual world. They don’t sleep on time. It’s all because the child’s life revolves around mobile, video games, laptop and TV.

Screen time has consumed their child!

What Can be Done?

Let’s begin with things that you shouldn’t do. Things that don’t work and can make the problem even worse.

Requesting. Sometimes you think if you just be nice to them, if you ask calmly, “please give me the phone back? Please don’t use it so much. It’s not good for you!” They will someday listen to you and comply. Well they won’t. Requesting would rarely work for this issue.

Testing Their Will Power. Some parents say “why should we have to stop the child from using the phone. I want my child to stop on their own. I want to make them responsible. Why should I have to tell them every time? My child must have the will power to leave it bu themselves”. Bad idea. The screen time in itself is so rewarding to the brain, that a child basically con’t be able to stop themselves. It’ll be very very hard. Don’t put them through this test. They will fail and you will be disappointed again and again.

Nagging/shouting. This is the negative version of requesting, where you just increase the intensity of asking. You either ask too many times, ” Please leave the Phone… What are you doing all day? You’ve waster 3 hours. When will you study?” etc. Or you can get angry and say those same things in anger, shouting at the top of your lungs. “Why are you so stubborn? Can yo just once listen to what you parents are saying? I’ll break your damn phone if you bring it to the dinner table” Again, won’t work.

What are Some Things that Work?

Prevention. Don’t even let this habit take roots. If you child is young, like below 12, it’s relatively easier to establish authority and say no for something. Parents often allow children phones, iPad and laptops, to just keep the trouble away from them. Like if they are busy in those gadgets, at least they won’t fight, at least I will have some peace of mind. Bad Idea.

Keeping your children away from gadgets, gets harder and harder as they grow up and as their addiction becomes deeper. It becomes extremely difficult when they are adolescents, like above 12. Habits are formed and they are big enough to start challenging your authority. So, to all the parents whose children are younger, if you don’t become careful and strict right now, “hell is coming and it is not pretty”. Prevent it.

How to Prevent Excessive Screen Time

1. Clear rule for screen time. Having a clear rule for how much screen time is accepted in the house is very crucial. For younger children, 1-2 hours is enough. As they get older, 2-3 hours is enough. That is just a general guide. It will depend on what the child is actually doing in that time. If they are watching good documentaries on Netflix, maybe even 3 hours is OK. But if they are playing video games, even 2 hours is too much. So, taking into account what your child is actually doing, come up with a number, very specific number of hours which are allowed. And that number must be communicated to the child very clearly and strongly. So, if you decide, for example 2 hours limit of screen time, make it a rule and don’t let them break it.

2. Clean policing. Probably the most successful technique here is policing. Using your authority to say no. Think of their screen time like they are bringing stuff from other countries into this country. You are the customs officer. For each item, there is a limit to how much you cam bring to this country, and if you cross the limit, customs officer will seize your stuff. No negotiation. No fights. Clean, well-established authority and execution of rules. So, each parent needs to learn to be a good police. Which involves, making sure that your well-thought-out and rational decisions are executed without abuse or violence and with lease possible harm. This can be learn. When it comes to screen time, this clean policing must be used instead of requesting, nagging or shouting in anger.

3. Rational consistent communication. So, you made a rule and you are executing it. But the child does not know why. So, it is your job to communicate everything rationally and consistently. This is another skill that must be learn. You must learn how to make them understand the reasons behind your decisions. So, what are the reasons behind cutting down their screen time? There could be many, like preventing addiction, healthy eyes, avoiding sedentary lifestyle, engaging with real people and real things, etc. Those reasons must be communicated in every manner possible, calmly, strongly, in short, in detail. Even if they disagree with them, you need to keep telling them. Consistency matters.

4. Replace screen time with real/better activities. You take something away from them, you must give them something back, some options at least. Buy them toys, comics, books good board games which are social/ educational in nature. Put them in music or dance classes, take them out, exercise with them, put them in a sports academy, have lots of fun with them. Talk to them at least for an hour every day, find ways that they can hang out with their friends, make sure they sleep full hours etc. Making sure that they stick to these new better activities will also take a lot of rational communication, but ultimately, they will catch on if they find them rewarding, which they will. It is a matter of time, Again, this period of transition will be tough, but that’s the way to go.

5. Persistence. As you introduce clear rules, policing and even rational communication, you will get a lot of resistance, lot of talk back, lot of tantrums. However, you must keep going forward, and learn how to deal with all the rebellion. You cannot accept defeat. When they resist, it’s your turn to learn something. It is your time to solve that problem, not throw in the towel.

In Summary,

1. You take their gadgets away but you make sure to give them something back.

2. When you take their gadgets away, you do three major things:

• Have a clear rule of limited screen time
• Execute that rule, with full authority, with the least possible harm
• And support all the above with consistent rational communication.

3. Finally, do it as early as possible in their childhood. If you don’t do it, you will probably need a counselor’s help later in life to make that happen. So, prevent future hell by acting today.